The Resume of Dr. Roose in the Style of Dr. Seuss

A big part of my job as a postdoc is to find another job. A real job; since all of my current scientific productivity is just ‘training’ within the academic system. Needless to say I spend a lot of time sending out job applications and updating my resume. Listing my technical skills and elaborating on these abilities is something I’ve done frequently over the last several months (OK, really the better part of three years). At one point in a recent interview when asked to further explain my expertise with certain types of experiments, I felt a lot like that guy talking to Sam I Am in Green Eggs and Ham. “I can do that experiment here and there, I can do it in a house, in a box, with a fox (admittedly a stretch), in the rain, on a boat.” You get the idea. Anyhoo, the connection has been stewing in my brain for a while now such that I cannot hold it in much longer. So, today I give you “The Resume of Dr. Roose in the Style of Dr. Seuss.”* The Cat in the Hat, may know a lot about that, but the PhD in her hood, knows too much for her own good!

Oh, the places you could go!

Tell me more about what you know…

My interest is in how plants make their food

So my experimental skills include…

Pipetting polymerase chain reactions

Making site-directed mutants with exaction

Making any kind of buffer solution

Recording oxygen evolution

Calculating enzyme kinetics

Explaining bioenergetics

Measuring pigments and proteins on the spec

DNA, RNA too, what the heck!

Agarose gels with ethidium bromide

And handmade gels of acrylamide

SDS and Blue Native

With protein samples most creative

Want to hear about my blots?

Let me count the ways, there’s lots!

                In a tank, semi-dry, PVDF, nitrocellulose, semi-quantitative, immunodetection with color or chemiluminescent, developed on a film or on a screen… Yes, I can blot proteins any way you mean.

In the rain, would you could you in the rain?

Yes, it’s protein chromatography, affinity

Not my grandmother’s divinity!

PSII isolations- Could you would you in the dark?

I can, I will, one must do them in the dark!

Cold and fast! Fast and cold!

Do not stop until you’re told!

I measure all types of chlorophyll fluorescence

Run on computers elsewhere in obsolescence

These old instruments are finicky

Protocols defy practicality

Does your ability have no limit?

Alas, I do- time’s not infinite

After 6pm daycare charges by the minute!

Experiments stop, a pity, isn’t it?

I am so technically competent you see

Don’t you want to employ me?

I do so love biochemistry!

Thank you, thank you Ph.D.

 

 

Johnna

*I’m thinking of just using it as my cover letter from now on.

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2 thoughts on “The Resume of Dr. Roose in the Style of Dr. Seuss

  1. Manju Mummadisetti

    I love this post! Sure, the best cover letter!! It probably says more about you than any of the formal/conventional cover letters you had so far 🙂

    Reply

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