A big part of my job as a postdoc is to find another job. A real job; since all of my current scientific productivity is just ‘training’ within the academic system. Needless to say I spend a lot of time sending out job applications and updating my resume. Listing my technical skills and elaborating on these abilities is something I’ve done frequently over the last several months (OK, really the better part of three years). At one point in a recent interview when asked to further explain my expertise with certain types of experiments, I felt a lot like that guy talking to Sam I Am in Green Eggs and Ham. “I can do that experiment here and there, I can do it in a house, in a box, with a fox (admittedly a stretch), in the rain, on a boat.” You get the idea. Anyhoo, the connection has been stewing in my brain for a while now such that I cannot hold it in much longer. So, today I give you “The Resume of Dr. Roose in the Style of Dr. Seuss.”* The Cat in the Hat, may know a lot about that, but the PhD in her hood, knows too much for her own good!
Oh, the places you could go!
Tell me more about what you know…
My interest is in how plants make their food
So my experimental skills include…
Pipetting polymerase chain reactions
Making site-directed mutants with exaction
Making any kind of buffer solution
Recording oxygen evolution
Calculating enzyme kinetics
Measuring pigments and proteins on the spec
DNA, RNA too, what the heck!
Agarose gels with ethidium bromide
And handmade gels of acrylamide
SDS and Blue Native
With protein samples most creative
Want to hear about my blots?
Let me count the ways, there’s lots!
In a tank, semi-dry, PVDF, nitrocellulose, semi-quantitative, immunodetection with color or chemiluminescent, developed on a film or on a screen… Yes, I can blot proteins any way you mean.
In the rain, would you could you in the rain?
Yes, it’s protein chromatography, affinity
Not my grandmother’s divinity!
PSII isolations- Could you would you in the dark?
I can, I will, one must do them in the dark!
Do not stop until you’re told!
I measure all types of chlorophyll fluorescence
Run on computers elsewhere in obsolescence
These old instruments are finicky
Protocols defy practicality
Does your ability have no limit?
Alas, I do- time’s not infinite
After 6pm daycare charges by the minute!
Experiments stop, a pity, isn’t it?
I am so technically competent you see
Don’t you want to employ me?
I do so love biochemistry!
Thank you, thank you Ph.D.
*I’m thinking of just using it as my cover letter from now on.